DATE: Dec 14 2006, 3:15 pm / MOOD: Happy

You cheated on your girlfriend. For whatever reason -- photographs, cellphone records, your sobbing admission -- she knows. She says it's over. You stand the best chance of getting her back if you...

a) Call her twice a week, telling her how miserable you are. She'll take pity eventually.

b) Enlist a mutual friend to talk to her. When she sees how desperate you are to get her back, she'll forgive you.

c) Call her once when you know she won't be home. Leave a message saying that you miss her and you hope she'll call you soon. Don't call her again until she calls you.

d) Sleep with a lot of people and see that word gets back to her. She'll be so jealous, she'll be begging you to come back.


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